A Point in the Center

A point in the center. They all are. There can be nothing else. Yet, there is no center. No space to center in. Yet, there it is. Tendrils move out in all directions, yet only one they pay attention to, and they forget the others, too much with just one, after all. So much coming into that non-centered point, too much, blinding, overwhelming. Wonderful in it's ineffability. But just that one tendril, can be nice. A vacation down the path. Sometimes, though, the path is long and hard, and they know this, but fatigue wears, and they forget. They forget the center that is not a center. They forget the non-space, and all they know is the tendril. This is fine. It really is. In the end, the only place to go is back to the center. Or better yet, off to make a new center. Like children spawned in some infinity, some star burning bright in the depths of space. The stars are alive. The universe is alive. Existence is. It is life. Consciousness. Centers. Tendrils of probability and time. Ever creating, ever expanding, yet all that is, is already. Yet, it can still be more. Fantastic vistas of ever moving, ever changing, ever evolving, ever growing points. Lights to light up the sky. Constellations to light the way.  Always more than before. Infinite space in the creative world. A mind forever voyaging, moving in all directions, exploring, learning. No beginning, no end. Simply there. A point. In the center. 

- Seriah

Book Review: "Jadoo" by John Keel

I had wanted to read John Keel's Jadoo: The Astounding Story of One Man's Search into the Mysteries of Black Magic in the Orient for a very long time. Out of print, and sometimes hard to find, I finally picked up a reasonably priced copy of it. Running roughly 250 pages, it is one hell of an interesting read. Keel is known, of course, most famously for The Mothman Prophecies, and overall as a UFOlogist. But this book is before all that. Published in 1957, this was his debut, and chronicles his life traveling around the Middle East in search of unusual stories. He delves into the secrets of snake charmers and mystics. He learned the rather interesting Indian Rope Trick. He searches for a Yeti in the mountains near Tibet. He does all this by the seat of his pants, with almost no money, and encounters plenty of problems. It's a very entertaining read, and through it all, despite his overall skepticism, he finds some truly unexplainable things out there. At the same time, you can really feel what he is describing, from the squalor of certain areas, to the majesty of others. It's a look at another culture that you don't often see from our world. 

This is a home movie that he took of the snake charmers he talks about in the book...

Kind of interesting that it exists, especially since he had to sell all his equipment to have money to live on shortly after this. Would love to see more footage from the events in the book.

In short, if you like Keel's style, his frank, and humorous approach, you will like Jadoo, and I would highly recommend tracking down a copy.

A Secret History of Consciousness by Gary Lachman

A Secret History of Consciousness is a fascinating book. I came across this book browsing Borders a few years back, sounded interesting, then I noticed it was written by the former bass player from Blondie. Luckily, it wasn't something that made me NOT want to read it. Plus the Intro by Colin Wilson didn't hurt.

It took a while, but eventually I sat down and started to read this. It took a while to get through the whole thing due to my reading habits of jumping from book to book, but none-the-less, I was never disappointed in this. I do think it started better than it ended, it was more, open, at the beginning. Overall it is a wide exploration of various ideas in consciousness and metaphysics. From Blavatsky to Kant to Colin Wilson, do not enter into this reading unless you have a very open mind and a willingness to at least try some very unusual ideas. It even got me to accept Julian Jaynes work a bit.

Overall, the book explores the way consciousness may have evolved over time... and for that matter, where it may be going. It suggests the various ways consciousness may have perceived reality over time, and the aspects of perception that have changed over aeons. It goes into purely speculative realms, as well as exploring things in a more scientific, or at least philosophical manner. Near the end, he seems to be trying to pull some of the stranger ideas together as a true history, and that is the only part which I feel wasn't as interesting. The ideas are speculations, interesting ones, to be sure, but just ideas. There is no reason to validate them over any others.

I think Gary does an excellent job at least engaging your ability to think about where consciousness has been, and where it may be going. Not to mention the various states of consciousness that we are already capable of, even if we aren't aware of them. I haven't read the works of people like Blavatsky and Immanuel Kant in many, many years, and, as least in the case of the latter, it reminded me of just how much I liked his work. In the case of the former, it allowed me to re-consider the value of her work, and also enlightened me to other thinkers are authors that I have not known as of yet.

Overall, this is highly recommended, and I am glad that I decided to pick this up. The thing about the physical book store, is that you can find things like this, things you weren't looking for. Things you didn't know you wanted. I love being able to find just about anything on a site like Amazon, but it is far less likely that I will come across something like this at random.

The Light and the Moon...

Standing at the end of the path, fields surround. The moon, bright in the sky, casts everything in a beautiful glow. Quick moving clouds skirt across the sky, in patches dimming the glow occasionally, but none the less, there is a beauty to it all. A breeze, comes across from the West, guiding the clouds on their way. As I watch, I notice a light in one of the fields, strange that, as there is nothing out there to create a light. It is at first, though, only a passing interest. Despite my severely clear sense of consciousness, things start to happen... First a flash, like someone taking a picture. The flash is there, but without a sharp climax, and then an odd decay. Interesting, and hard to focus on, like it comes from somewhere we don't normally have access to. Then, oddness becomes outstanding. As I gaze up at the clouds starting to cover the moon, the lunar body suddenly bursts through the thick clouds and shakes wildly. Clearly a hallucination. I look away, at that odd light in the field. It blinks on and off at regular intervals. I look up and the moon is normal again, for a moment, then it starts its impossible dance. Bewildered I look away. I look inward to examine my seeming clarity of mind, and find that it still seems to be intact. That light is still there. I stare at it, and it goes out and doesn't come back on. Odd. I look at the bizarre lunar dance again, and once again, it seems like it should at first, then it performs it's convulsion. If it was an optical illusion, would that not be there as soon as I look? I notice the light is back, I look at it, trying to determine something, anything, about it. It goes out and stays out. Frustrating. I wait and it fails to relight. I look away, and from the corner of my eye, it returns. Like a game. I watch it from the corner of my eye, and it blinks on and off every seven seconds. Fine, I think, so there is a pattern to this seemingly out of place luminosity. As it ignites, I look at it, it stays on seven seconds, goes out, and does not come back... Till I look elsewhere, then it resumes it's blinking. Now how can that be. It is a good distance away, yet it seems to be interacting with me. It is not unusually bright and it stays perfectly still. What sense can be made of this. If I look when it is out, it stays out till I look away. Subtle, yet, so striking in it's action. I look up, the moon, free of clouds seems like it should, but the flashes on the landscape remain on occasion. I wonder if I should feel scared by all this? Worried about my own sanity, yet I know, this is something that is definitely there, this is not a mental hallucination.

I recall that at Fatima, the sun was said to fall from the sky and fly around. I think about our need to believe in ghosts or aliens, or something else that we can somehow fit into our idea of logic. Perhaps, though, the world does not play by those rules. Perhaps that light is always there, but it takes a certain state of mind, or state of earth, or alignment with something, somewhere, for me to see this. And there it is. And more than anything, it wants contact. And maybe it has caused these other things, the flashes and the dancing moon, only to direct my attention to it. But what then. If a person were to sit in that lonely field and wait for perhaps me to wander this way, even with some nice night vision goggles and motivation, they could not detect the slight change in my vision that provokes the light to respond. It knows when I am looking at it, and it is telling me so. The clouds are passed, and the sun is coming soon. The light remains. I bid it farewell and return from where I came, with a great sense of wonder, invigorated by something so simple, yet so profound. Not a ghost, nor an alien, nor anything else we can fully comprehend in our world of logic and order.  Perhaps, though, something that seeks contact, something so strange to us, that we can't yet see what it truly is. Perhaps we lack the facilities to, the senses to. And if it is so strange to us, how can we even guess it's motivation? It's awareness is likely to be so foreign and alien to ours that how can we hope to really communicate. We are closed minded and arrogant. Yet it tries. We can not hope to apply to something our limited views and behaviours to it and hope to make any sense of them. It has been here, trying, for as long as we know. We have assigned it different faces, angels, demons, aliens, ghosts, fairies... But these were the illusions, which we provided as it tries to get through on some level. A light in a field, where there is no light, that responds in ways it can't. It's seems so trivial and small.

Clearly, though, it is patient.

Books I am Reading Right Now...

I read too many books at once, and I always want to do reviews of them, but never get around to it. Actually, sometimes I can't even remember the beginning of a book once I get to the end cause it may have been a year or so since I started it. Seriously. It's not from lack of interest, it is just that I will suddenly decided I want to read one thing or another and jump around, so I figured maybe I would just comment on some of the stuff I am reading now.

Lost Cities of North and Central America (The Lost City Series) by David Hatcher Childress. You can see David as a regular on Ancient Aliens currently (History Channel I believe), and I really have to say I love his books. He is a story teller and explorer. He is not out to prove anything, and he is no armchair theorist. He has traveled the world, and his books relate those travels with both personal stories, legends, theories, and just pure speculation. His books are just filled with crazy amounts of information about ancient cultures, and legends of pre-history, and, well, fun. He will often just run off on rides of wild speculation, and they are enjoyable rides. I am about halfway through this book, and the first half deals mostly with Central America as David travels about and explores ancient ruins, and relates legends about them. He often spends time off the beaten path trying to track down some of the more obscure legends, and never fails to enlighten me to something that I have never heard of before. That is one of the things that most books fail to do, and when an author can repeatedly do such a thing to me, they quickly become one of my favorite authors, as David Hatcher Childress has.

Our Haunted Planet net by John Keel. Published back in 1971, the late John Keel is easily one of my favorite authors. Like Childress, he has traveled the world, has related odd legends and little known information, and is a fantastic story teller. What sets them apart is that Keel does have theories that he supports, and they were way ahead of his time. His primary focus has always been the UFO Phenomenon, but he is one of the very early proponents of the idea that UFO does not mean Extra-terrestrial. Keel very much believes that UFO's are Ultra-Terrestrial, and may very well not be benevolent. Over the years I find myself agreeing with Keel less than I used to, and in some cases it is just a matter of time having proven some of his theories wrong. On other things however, he has shown himself to be dead on. Our Haunted Planet is a collection of strange events and research. Keel is never one to shy away from High Strangeness, and instead feels that the key to things lie in the strangest accounts, not the more 'acceptable' one. This is the second time I have read this work of his, and I find that I am enjoying it the second time through far more than the first for some reason. I lent my first copy to someone and they never returned it, so getting my hands on another I felt it deserved a re-read, and it has been well worth the time to do so.

DMT: The Spirit Molecule: A Doctor's Revolutionary Research into the Biology of Near-Death and Mystical Experiences by Rick Strassman, M.D. I haven't gotten very far in this one, but my interest was peaked while reading Graham Hancock's Supernatural. So far, this is a fascinating book talking about the odd properties of DMT, and recounting the history of research into psychedelic drugs. Very thorough and interesting as Rick relates the accounts of DMT experiments that he was able to conduct, and his theories on what they may really mean. DMT is particularly interesting in that it is produced in the human body, and yet still an illegal substance. Even slightly higher than normal doses of DMT have been shown to cause hallucinogenic states. The question that Rick eventually starts to address, is if these states may have some reality of their own, and not just be in the mind. His theory is akin to retuning a Television set from what he calls 'Channel Normal' to another channel using drugs like DMT. Since DMT is also produced in the human body, another theory is that people who are 'sensitive' may already have slightly elevated levels of DMT, allowing them to tune into alternate realities while still connected to a normal consciousness level. As I said, haven't made it too far into this book, but so far, well worth the read.

The Murder of Christ by Wilhelm Reich. A truly brilliant man. I have never read any of his stuff before. Published back in 1953, Reich was highly persecuted in his time, eventually dying in prison and having all his books burned. Reich suggested that there is another energy field called Orgone, and it is powered, in essence, by sexual energy. In the 1950's, you can see why this may not have gone over so well. He had various experiments proving his theories, and his history and ideas are well worth checking out. This book, however, is not so much about that. In a deep, and slightly hard to read way, Wilhelm explores the life of Christ through his eyes, seeing the repression of sexuality and other psychosis as the main problem in today's society. A view WAY ahead of it's time. The Murder of Christ is the repression of the life force, which Christ wanted us to revel in, not repress as our Western culture in particular does to such a huge degree. Reich was a strange man, and his work is fascinating. I haven't read very far into this yet, in part because it's not such an easy read, he writes in a slightly tedious manner, but it is worth slowly working through so far.

Invisible Residents: The Reality of Underwater UFOs by Ivan T. Sanderson. The Reality of Underwater UFO's is the subtitle to this book, originally published in 1970. USO's as they have often been called are a little known variation of the UFO Phenomenon. There are actually a very large number of UFO sightings where the UFO has been seen to come from or go into the water. Ivan recounts many variations of these, and theories as to what it may mean. It is a bit tedious at times, but interesting none-the-less. The book opens relating a story of an Antarctic expedition where a long silvery object suddenly burst through "no less than 37 feet of ice" causing huge chunks of steaming ice to come crashing down all around them and the water from whence it came to boil. There are quite a lot of interesting stories, and Ivan's theory that there may be a vast underwater civilization that pre-dates ours seems a bit outrageous at first glance, but you never really know. I mean, we have explored so little of our oceans, that we really don't know what is down there. And if there was a civilization down there, and they wanted to not be found by us, they may be able to hide well, especially if they have such a high technology. I don't personally think that is the answer to the UFO mystery, but I also find the idea worthy of thought. This is considered a classic and has been republished by David Hatcher Childress' book company, Adventures Unlimited Press.

A Secret History of Consciousness by Gary Lachman. Gary is the former bass player for Blondie. He is also a intriguing author. I picked this up not sure what to expect, and have been blown away by the novelty of information contained. On the one hand, it is an exploration of the history of theories on the nature of consciousness, but on the other hand, it takes a different turn and looks at the idea that perhaps consciousness was not always what it is today, and where it may evolve to. In parts it suggests that consciousness has evolved in ways we can't even imagine, and not in far antiquity, but even in the last few thousand years. For example, perhaps the reason we can not understand the way the pyramids were built, relates more to the consciousness that built them, not just the technology. It is fascinating and unique. A pleasant surprise for something that I picked up spontaneously at Borders one day. Some of the book reminds me of metaphysics that I have not read in 20 years, and other stuff I have never encountered before. Until I read this, I had all but forgotten the theories of Immanuel Kant, but the reminder was refreshing. I would say, though, there was more stuff here that I have never heard of before than stuff I have. Awesome book.

This isn't all of them. but these are the books I am reading most recently. I may do a full review when I finish them, or maybe just another blog of this sort as I start reading more, or pick up some that I have neglected lately. I also signed up as an Amazon affiliate, so if you think you may buy any of these through Amazon, please use my links.  

Five Points...

So, I happened across this article on Digg earlier.

I felt after reading it, that it needed some commentary.

Number One, Lake Monsters. More often than not, I dismiss Lake Monsters. If one exists, ok, but evidence against them is rather strong, at least as far as what we expect them to be. That does not mean that people aren’t seeing monsters, just that perhaps they are not flesh and blood creatures, there may be a very good, and possibly more interesting explanation. However, number one holds some merit, good.

Number Two, Hoaxes. Also, good point, hoaxes at this point in time are so easy, not to mention the amount junk we have in our environment that may be misinterpreted. I find the UFO (read that as Unidentified Flying Object, NOT as Space Ship) sightings prior to our ability to fly sometimes more interesting because we know it couldn’t be us. There are plenty of those. Nowadays, hoaxes are so damned easy, and easy to make them look really good. So they are right that hoaxes are a problem, but they don’t argue against paranormal phenomenon, just a fact of culture and technology that it becomes a problem in determining real from fake.

Number Three, Unclaimed Large Cash Rewards. Here is where they lose ground. The problem with said cash awards is this, the die hard skeptics that offer them, make sure that no one will ever pass their tests. Of course they are unclaimed, they are more of a publicity stunt than anything else. If you live in New York City, and one day offer $100,000 to anyone who can bring you a live Moose in the next 5 minutes, good chance no one will, but that doesn’t mean that Moose are not real. Yet that is the logic of such cash prizes. Closed minded skeptics, like James Randi, mentioned in the article, will never see anything as proof. Nothing. Period. They have already made up their minds. No one will ever get the money, because no matter how much someone proves, it will not be enough. So on this point they fail miserably. This is not evidence against the paranormal, this is more a psychological exercise for the closed minded. Being an open minded skeptic is probably the best way to be, but a closed minded one will never learn anything new because they think they know it all already. It is not doubt that they have, but certainty.

Number Four, The Fermi Paradox. If we were to argue that space aliens were here, this may or may not add or detract from the argument. Basically, it is hypothetical. Everything in this point is hypothetical. What if. Sure, Richard Dawkins will tell you he is right, but that’s because he falls into that closed minded skeptic category. He already knows he is right about what he believes, so you can’t really make a point to such a person. Anyways, this is obviously an attempt to dismiss UFO sightings. Not only doesn’t it work on various levels, but any real analysis of the phenomenon does not point to ET, but something altogether stranger and more passive. And when that is comprehended, this whole point is, well, pointless.

Number Five, The God Helmet. This one is interesting. It proves that electromagnetic energy can produce interesting effects on the brain. This is a good point against the paranormal. Other things must be considered, though. Ok, so using this helmet can replicate certain paranormal mindsets. Feelings of others in the room with you, for instance. Two things must be worked out. One, are there? Just because we can’t see them in a normal state of being, by tweaking our brain, the brain in the case assumed to be a receiver, like a television, we tune to something outside the ‘norm’. Two, by pressing on certain nerves, you may feel like a part of you, which is not being touched at that time, is being touched. Does that mean that when it is really being touched it is just an illusion? Of course, you could go deep with this question, but I think we will stay on the shallow side for now. Research has been done that suggests that Ketamine can induce something that resembles a Near Death Experience. That is interesting. However, when someone has a real NDE, there is no trace of Ketamine in their system, so it really doesn’t work as a explanation, now does it? Just because something resembles the effects of something else, doesn’t mean that it is now explained. The people who did the initial research were pretty clear at the end that they did not think that Ketamine was in any way responsible for NDE’s, but that didn’t stop the skeptic army from eating that up and spitting it in everyone’s face. So, is the God helmet interesting? Hell, yes. Does it explain all spiritual states and paranormal experiences? Not even remotely. It is, however a tool that may be used for further understanding about the way our brain interacts with this reality that we share.


The problem with the paranormal is, for us to begin to understand it, takes a whole new concept of reality. As long as people try to squeeze it into our current conceptions of how things are, we will not understand. Our narrow belief in how things are does not accommodate many of these phenomenon, which is why you have people arguing that UFO's are space ships, while others arguing, that, despite the evidence of something going on that is causing these experiences, they are somehow not real (aka hoaxes, or hallucinations, or whatever). Both sides are operating in a narrow band of which the true UFO Phenomenon supersedes. That is what the term paranormal means, really. Outside the norm. Someday we may evolve the wisdom to understand many of these things, and then we will look back on what we believe now and laugh at how primitive we were...

Ancient Children

Age is such a strange thing in our society. It really is meaningless. I truly wonder if we were all unaware of our ‘age’, how it would affect us. Would two people the same physical age, be very different? Would one 70 year old be bent and decrepit and another still be somewhat youthful and energetic, simply because they didn’t have that definer to force them into a behavior? I mean, even with our age obsessed culture, you see people like William Shatner or Terry Funk doing things that people half their age can’t do, while other people hit 40 or 50 and look like they’re dead. What if we didn’t know? We all go through the opening for our lives, childhood, where we learn how to function and interact. Some of us do it better or quicker than others. And there is a point, where the body fails to reproduce the cells needed to survive any longer and we die of old age. But the mind is the power behind it, and a strong mind, creates a strong life and body. Some people seem to WANT to be old, so they can… I don’t know. They hit like 26 and start complaining that they can’t do things like they used to. In what sane world is 26 old and feeble? Seriously, at 26 you have only just begun your adult life, if you are having problems functioning, you are probably doing something wrong.

Then there are age limits. If you are 16 you can drive a car. You know, there are some 13 and 14 year old’s that I have met that could probably drive a car responsibly. On the other hand, there are people 40+ that should not be allowed near the driver’s side of a car. It’s ok though, cause they are old enough to drive. There shouldn’t just be a driver’s test, but a competency test, and maybe one that has to be repeated here and there just to make sure, because I am pretty sure that behind the wheel of a car is where some of the most stupendously stupid decisions are made. Age is not a factor. Age does not make you a good driver. How long you’ve been driving does not either. Yet, here is another example of how age obsessed our culture is.

I think what really ages us, is not years, but what we do with them. I look around, and I see the people who are ‘old’, regardless of their physical age, are the people who stopped learning. Stopped creating. Just stopped. Many of them as soon as they were done with whatever schooling they were involved in. The minute you stop delving into the new and novel, is the moment you start to die. So many people are caught up in their past. They still look at the world the same way they did in college or high school, and still listen to the same music, and even watch the same movies. Nothing against nostalgia, but if that is all your life is, you are on your way out. No matter how old you live to be. The people who keep going are the ones who don’t stopping learning and creating things. They have something to drive them forwards. They want more out of life, and age doesn’t present that much of an obstacle to them.

Grow up. A coupling of words people throw around easily. I think, however, the best definition of this, is that of responsibility. Not the responsibility of a house or kids or anything like that, but simply the responsibility for ones actions. A grown up is someone that is responsible for what they say and do. Most people never grow up, and in this respect, that is part of the problem with the world. Most people won’t accept blame when they screw up. It’s an insecurity that does no one any good. I find that no matter how angry I may be about something, if the person who is responsible just owns up to it, it tends to dissipate that anger… unless of course it’s something they do again and again, in which case it doesn’t mean much. It’s hard to be angry with someone who comes right out and admits they screwed up or made a mistake and apologizes for it. Being ‘Grown Up’ is not about what clothes your wear or what you do with your life. Being ‘Grown Up’ is taking responsibility for your life, and what you do with it. Really, that is all it is.

Unfortunately, we seem to live in a land of old children…

Lost as Ritual

Most people see only the small picture. Even when they think that is not the case, because really, most people won’t say that they only see the small picture, because it doesn’t sound complimentary. However, it is an accurate way of describing life, day to day. It is how human beings develop normally. Our day to day existence preoccupies us, and most people don’t look beyond it.

In order to truly be able to see any kind of BIG picture, you need a lead, someone to bring you along and initiate you. The reason being, is that with rare exception, you can’t find the big picture alone. It’s invisible. You can’t see the forest for the trees, oftentimes because you need help to get that full view. Initiation and Ritual are means to show that big picture. Now, today, mostly, these things are trivial. They lead to nothing more than people feeling special because they are part of a group. Often it’s used as an ego boost, to make individuals feel like because they belong to said group, they are better than others who do not belong. This is the draw of the secret society, or the religious group. The rituals are banal, and there is not concept of a big picture.

Lost. The TV Show, however, works as an analogy to this. The show starts small and ends big. At the start, there is no real hint of where the story will be a couple seasons down the road. You’re only seeing the trees. As the story evolves you learn new perspectives and new ideas, and eventually you realize that where you started was just a small tree. It is so rare to see something like this on a popular television show. Such media has always been relegated to short attention spans, but over the last decade or so, more shows have worked on this idea, but none with the ritualistic perfection of Lost. What so many people do not understand, is that you can’t skip to the end. Just like you can’t pick random episodes of Lost and understand them, true initiation, true ritual, prepares you to understand bigger concepts. Concepts that you can’t just skip to the point and understand, concepts that require those steps, because they ARE the initiation. Thus Lost becomes a symbol of what has been lost in our world. The big picture. Shamans and wise men who can really initiate someone into the bigger picture, are few and far in between any more. Wisdom isn’t dispensed like belts in Karate. Wisdom is absorbed and becomes a part of who you are. There are no awards or grades or certificates of Wisdom. There are no titles. In the end, seeing the big picture, comes only to the wise, who can not directly impart this to the people still lost in the trees. The gap is too big, and the road not seemingly relevant to day to day life. It is not something that can be labeled.

So to most, Lost is the closest they will come to understanding how that works. They may not realize it, but it’s there. Lost doesn’t just tell a story, it initiates you, it works in a ritualistic fashion to reveal the many secrets the story possesses. Secrets that would make no sense from watching just the first few episodes. And just like a true teacher, it brings up more questions than it answers. Of course, in our world, obsessed with gratification as it is, that can aggravate people. Questions are the key, being able to ask questions is key. Earning the answers makes them mean something.

Appreciation

Why the lack of appreciation. We have a fascinating world that we have created for ourselves, and most of us seem to only look to the horizon or beyond, and never look around at the wonder they have around them. Progress is always good, but to forsake the present for a phantom future is silly, just as silly to close future progress in the present. But a balance is not hard, not really. Appreciate what you have and move forward. Life should be lived, that is why we are here, after all. Christians live for Heaven, Buddhists for the non-existence of Nirvana, and on and on it goes. All looking for a reward later. Sad to waste what you have for something that does not exist. Religious or otherwise. To move forwards with blinders on will cause you to miss all the wonderful things that abound around you. Focused on just one idea, one goal, rather than the experience of what comes. As a society, we are failing, our leaders and others, conspire to limit our choices and freedom, to control all they can, and we, blindly, follow their path. Change starts within, we need to break the shackles inside that have created this reality, and make something better. Appreciate what you have. Live you life. Not so hard, really...

Dhamra

We are surrounded by rules and laws. Taught what is right and wrong. And yet, these things can never be absolute. No law covers all situations, no rule allows for all things that could be happening. Yet, the simple truth is, that inside we all know what is right. And by right, I do not refer to a simple black and white separation of things, because all things are relative. There is an old Sanskrit word, Dharma. There are volumes of ancient literature written about this in India. And in the simplest form it means 'Right Action'. That is an individual perspective in all cases, and something that does not always follow logic. We all have access to this sense, yet most people are taught to ignore it. Perhaps because it can not be controlled by written laws and rules, and that is what those in power want to use to keep their power. It doesn't matter in the slightest, however, what they want, you can always open yourself up to it.

In any situation, you have that sense of what is the right thing to do. Sometimes it may logically seem like the wrong thing, however, it is the thing that takes you where you need to be. Crowley coined a phrase; Do As Thou Wilt Shall Be the Whole of the Law. Simpletons made this to be you can do whatever you want. Wiccans corrupted it to be; Do as you Will, but Harm None. But that is not what it means in either case. It means to follow Dharma, in this case identified as Your Will. Crowley also said that Every Man and Woman is a Star, in this case meaning that everyone has their own Will to follow, and that we all follow our own orbits and paths.

Staying true to this path is what one needs to be truly satisfied in this existence. It does not mean you will be happy all the time, it is not some magic formula that unlocks paradise, life is about contrast, and experience, of all kinds. You can get knocked down, and you can keep getting up, ideally, one more time that you can get knocked down, and although it may be hell during the time you experience it, you learn much about yourself in the aftermath, you can even feel good about it after the fact. We exist here, inside time, but outside of this world, we also exist, and there, we are outside of the confines of time. That part of us knows what it wants and where it wants to explore, and it can see from a much wider perspective. But that part of us, is not conscious here. However, we can get a sense of which way we should go from it, from that part of us that can see so much more, that can see to a further horizon. Dharma. And, what it truly becomes, more than any dogma or organization can create, is faith. It is true faith, because you know, in a sense that can not be spoken, in a sense that can not be taught, where to step.

Even sensing it does not mean that we will not cave into our egos now and again and do what we know we should not, that is also a part of life. Our lower selves conflicting with our higher selves. I think that a big part of the problem our society now faces is that lack of connection to a higher self. Without that, we will fall to ruin. Written laws can not help us. Obeying material, lower senses does not help us, it does not take us where we should go, and it does not allow us to grow. We all need to be able to trust in ourselves with a faith that can't be shaken. All of us. No matter how much you feel that that description fits you, you can always be more connected than you are. The conflict between above and below is meant to be, it is healthy, it is where we find out strength and our weaknesses. It is where we learn more about this being that we have spent our lives creating. Are you proud of your creation? You should be. But it can always be made better. There can always be more. There are always new heights, new challenges, new mysteries... There is always something more to create.

See, it is simple. It is honesty with yourself, honesty with others follows that naturally. It is the faith to close your eyes and jump, because you know you should, rather than giving into the fear of not knowing what is there that you are jumping into... Rather than having to look to a church or organization to see what they recommend. It is freedom personified. We make our world what we make it. I don't think it would be hard to make it more interesting than it is now, do you?

Love Under Will. The separation of opposites below the abyss, the contrast that brings the world into being.

Seriah Azkath
Demonic Host Lurking in the Shadows...


"I need to be alone tonight
Smother me or suffer
Lay down I'll die tonight
Smother me or suffer
When I'm gone, wait here
Discover all of life's surprises
When I'm gone wait here
I'll send my child my last good smile

If you pass through my soul tonight
Gather all his troubles
Tomorrow's long eternal night
Gather for tomorrow
When I'm gone wait here
Discovers all of earth's surprises
When I'm gone wait here
I'll send my child my last good smile"

- Fields of the Nephilim "Love Under Will"

The Journey...

The journey is what matters. All the answers leave you empty. It doesn’t matter if it is as trivial as a TV show, like Lost, or as deep as a spiritual journey. To have all the answers means that the journey is over. There isn’t anything more. The story has been told. The journey is the wondrous part of the whole thing. I realize that people want all the answers just handed to them, right now. Why is that? Why do so many people not know how to live? People go to school and memorize all the answers, and once they have them, they walk out into what they think is life, only to dully exist day to day. There is no journey. There may be the acquiring of money. There may be the goal of retirement, but it is all a safe, well-traveled road. And at that point, why bother? The dynamic vividness of life is smothered. If you know all the island’s secrets, why bother watching the drama of finding them unfold? There is no excitement in that. Life is not safe, and we should embrace that. We should embrace its dark hidden areas, because that is where the wonder lies, untouched. New. To walk in circles is lunacy. To stay on the most well worn areas of the path, is tedium. To not explore the wonder, is blasphemy. The journey always ends, so why not see as much as you can, while you can? Why not tread right where you fear to? Sometimes you need to, to live. To remind yourself that you are alive, because even walking down the middle of the path is only an illusion of safety. Fear is the killer and the thief, stealing your life away. Find your own way, and you find yourself. And you truly live your life.

“When living your life like an arrow in flight, you must always accept that the end is in sight. Be grateful at least, for the fact that you knew that you came to death – He did not come for you. You are like targets who sit and await, patiently suffer the arrows of fate, saying ‘I am but mortal and destined to die, I can change nothing, so why should I try?’”

- Sabbat “The Best of Enemies”

A Moment

What are we, that exist in a temporal illusion of waves of probability? We are everywhere, everyone, connected by the very fabric of consciousness, yet we forget, and believe the illusion of separation, of time, distance. It is nothing but an adventure, a chance to create something new, to expand beyond, which sometimes requires a different focus. Too often, dead eyes stare out into a seemingly hostile world, unable to understand their own creation. They mire themselves in the muck of money and ego, and wonder why they feel so lost. It is so easy to lose sight of the shore when you are overwhelmed by a commercial society aimed at guiding everyone down the same few paths. People become inundated by feelings of inadequacy, and insecurity, to the point of not even being able to see what is outside themselves. This makes the masses easy to corral into one place, and destroy their spirits. It is society based survival instincts perverted to the extreme. We can be so much more, if we can just shake the shackles that abound today. Life is limitless, we can create what we want, but we have to want something better. And to do that, is to first appreciate what we have in this existence. The sheer wonder of it. For until we do that, why should we care? To look deep inside and see without with new eyes. To take a forward step in the spirit of adventure and creation, not to cower and wait for someone to tell us what to do next. Not everyone is meant to be a leader in society, but everyone has it inside to lead themselves. Life is morphic and death, is most certainly, not what it seems. We die all the time, your bodies are not what they were 10 years ago. Every cell has died and been replaced, yet we continue, because we control the forms of this existence, even if we do not know it. We die when we are done. Not based on the importance we have made here, but on something higher, that may be rather ineffable here. Nothing is what it seems. The transient nature of reality seems all too real when you are down it in, but we need it, that reality, to build anew... We suffer, and move beyond. Opposition is grace, the petty tyrants inspiration to overcome, and life itself, life itself can be an adventure. Within, as much as without...